only when there's something to talk to! though i guess it's all the time, because lan zhan is so interesting! the other day he let me see some of his rabbit pictures, and they were so cute! so small and fluffy and adorable, nie-xiong, i could die!!!
not yet, but it's gonna happen! maybe even today! you gotta be positive about these things, nie-xiong!
and i'm not taking that bet. i know myself pretty well, and lan zhan is a very interesting person, i'll probably mention something about him without even noticing i'm doing it! that's an unfair bet!
alright, then see my earlier point about 'the whole class thinks you're dating'. you are literally doing everything people who are dating do and just not calling it a date.
a date implies both parties have agreed to it being a date! lunch is just lunch! and we don't hold hands! wait no sometimes we do because lan zhan gets lost in crowds... but we don't share clothes either! wait no i borrowed his shirts a while back and he let me... we don't have each other's schedu-- no, lan zhan has my schedule memorized better than i do...
[and the worst thing is, wei wuxian is deeply convinced of it. lan zhan has barely tolerated him, surely - haven't they fought on the first day of classes? an actual fight, too, with fists and swords - and wei wuxian only managed to mend their bridge through sheer force of will and determination. surely if this were the case, as nie huaisang is saying, then lan zhan would have said something! and he hasn't!]
he probably doesn't even like the fact that everyone thinks we're dating, nie-xiong!
[wei wuxian types, then deletes, then types again, rinse and repeat until he just gives up and theatrically sobs into his phone screen. where's jiang cheng when you need him? wait no, he'll kick him in the kidneys. shijie! where's shijie!!! she'll know what to do!]
nie-xiong what do i do he's gonna know that i know when i meet him later
how come everyone knew before i did, this is unfair
i've never kissed anyone what if i'm bad at it what if lan zhan doesn't like it what if he doesn't want to kiss me what am i gonna do i can't just ASK HIM THAT'S SO FORWARD
offering lan zhan alcohol was not being forward! how was i to know he was going to react so horribly, anyway? no one draws their sword at a stranger for being offered alcohol!
nie huaisang i am your closest and dearest friend, don't leave me
if you don't want me to leave stop being so goddamn dumb to start with i literally can't even with you
you broke like a million rules when you first let of course he was oing to react like that at first, but look at him now! didn't he save your ass with the water abyss too?
HAVE YOU READ ANY OF MY LAST FIFTY MESSAGES NO HE WON'T
since when are you scared of anything. you, the great Wei WuXian, the pride of Yunmeng Jiang Sect. Scared of kissing a guy he's already dating. I'm ashamed to be your friend.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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AND IT'S NOT A CRUSH I JUST WANT TO BE HIS FRIEND
THERE IS NOTHING TO DENY BECAUSE IT'S NOT TRUE
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yeah, yeah, you keep telling yourself that.
how about that. Can you make it one full day, 24 hours, without talking about lwj to anyone.
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and i'm not taking that bet. i know myself pretty well, and lan zhan is a very interesting person, i'll probably mention something about him without even noticing i'm doing it! that's an unfair bet!
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alright, then see my earlier point about 'the whole class thinks you're dating'. you are literally doing everything people who are dating do and just not calling it a date.
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a date implies both parties have agreed to it being a date! lunch is just lunch! and we don't hold hands! wait no sometimes we do because lan zhan gets lost in crowds... but we don't share clothes either! wait no i borrowed his shirts a while back and he let me... we don't have each other's schedu-- no, lan zhan has my schedule memorized better than i do...
look
i know it looks bad
but we're not dating
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and i didn't say it looked bad. We're all happy for you two, seriously.
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[HANG ON HE'S HAVING A CRISIS]
what if lan zhan doesn't know
nie-xiong
i have to fix this
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OMFG DO NOT EVEN MOVE FROM WHERE YOU ARE DO NOT MOVE DO NOT BREATHE
you are not allowed to go break up with him he will be shattered.
If you do this I will end you myself.
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BUT HE DOESN'T KNOW! HE THINKS WE'RE JUST FRIENDS! NIE-XIONG WHAT IF HE DOESN'T LIKE ME LIKE THAT!
the right thing to do is talk to him and clear things up, i don't want him to hate me for taking liberties with his friendship!!!
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YOU THINK HE WOULD EVEN LOOK AT YOU IF HE DIDN'T! YOU THINK HE WOULD GO TO LUNCH WITH YOU!
[Lord have mercy, Nie Huaisang is about to have an aneurysm.]
He is letting you take liberties because he wants you to! If he didn't he'd have punched you the first day and left you there.
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[and the worst thing is, wei wuxian is deeply convinced of it. lan zhan has barely tolerated him, surely - haven't they fought on the first day of classes? an actual fight, too, with fists and swords - and wei wuxian only managed to mend their bridge through sheer force of will and determination. surely if this were the case, as nie huaisang is saying, then lan zhan would have said something! and he hasn't!]
he probably doesn't even like the fact that everyone thinks we're dating, nie-xiong!
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He's heard the rumors like everyone. Has he denied it even once. no he hasn't. because he knows and he agrees.
I swear to god, wei wuxian, if you fuck this up I'm sending XiChen-ge after you and i will pray for the rest of your soul.
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nie-xiong what do i do
he's gonna know that i know when i meet him later
how come everyone knew before i did, this is unfair
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and you just do what you said you would do. you invite him to lunch. you ask to see his bunny pictures.
and then you ask him if you can kiss him.
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i've never kissed anyone what if i'm bad at it what if lan zhan doesn't like it what if he doesn't want to kiss me what am i gonna do i can't just ASK HIM THAT'S SO FORWARD
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and we all have to start somewhere. and excuse me i have to ask how have you NOT been forward with him from the first time you met
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nie huaisang i am your closest and dearest friend, don't leave me
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you broke like a million rules when you first let of course he was oing to react like that at first, but look at him now! didn't he save your ass with the water abyss too?
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and he did! he carried me by the collar like i was a puppy, it was embarrassing! ah, but his arm strength... it was so impressive...
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OMG GO KISS HIM ALREADY
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HE MIGHT SAY NO
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since when are you scared of anything. you, the great Wei WuXian, the pride of Yunmeng Jiang Sect. Scared of kissing a guy he's already dating. I'm ashamed to be your friend.
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PROMISE ME YOU'LL NEVER LEAVE ME
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I'LL DIE FIRST
BUT I WILL KISS HIM
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