[wei wuxian types, then deletes, then types again, rinse and repeat until he just gives up and theatrically sobs into his phone screen. where's jiang cheng when you need him? wait no, he'll kick him in the kidneys. shijie! where's shijie!!! she'll know what to do!]
nie-xiong what do i do he's gonna know that i know when i meet him later
how come everyone knew before i did, this is unfair
i've never kissed anyone what if i'm bad at it what if lan zhan doesn't like it what if he doesn't want to kiss me what am i gonna do i can't just ASK HIM THAT'S SO FORWARD
offering lan zhan alcohol was not being forward! how was i to know he was going to react so horribly, anyway? no one draws their sword at a stranger for being offered alcohol!
nie huaisang i am your closest and dearest friend, don't leave me
if you don't want me to leave stop being so goddamn dumb to start with i literally can't even with you
you broke like a million rules when you first let of course he was oing to react like that at first, but look at him now! didn't he save your ass with the water abyss too?
HAVE YOU READ ANY OF MY LAST FIFTY MESSAGES NO HE WON'T
since when are you scared of anything. you, the great Wei WuXian, the pride of Yunmeng Jiang Sect. Scared of kissing a guy he's already dating. I'm ashamed to be your friend.
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He's heard the rumors like everyone. Has he denied it even once. no he hasn't. because he knows and he agrees.
I swear to god, wei wuxian, if you fuck this up I'm sending XiChen-ge after you and i will pray for the rest of your soul.
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nie-xiong what do i do
he's gonna know that i know when i meet him later
how come everyone knew before i did, this is unfair
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and you just do what you said you would do. you invite him to lunch. you ask to see his bunny pictures.
and then you ask him if you can kiss him.
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i've never kissed anyone what if i'm bad at it what if lan zhan doesn't like it what if he doesn't want to kiss me what am i gonna do i can't just ASK HIM THAT'S SO FORWARD
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and we all have to start somewhere. and excuse me i have to ask how have you NOT been forward with him from the first time you met
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nie huaisang i am your closest and dearest friend, don't leave me
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you broke like a million rules when you first let of course he was oing to react like that at first, but look at him now! didn't he save your ass with the water abyss too?
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and he did! he carried me by the collar like i was a puppy, it was embarrassing! ah, but his arm strength... it was so impressive...
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OMG GO KISS HIM ALREADY
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HE MIGHT SAY NO
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since when are you scared of anything. you, the great Wei WuXian, the pride of Yunmeng Jiang Sect. Scared of kissing a guy he's already dating. I'm ashamed to be your friend.
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PROMISE ME YOU'LL NEVER LEAVE ME
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I'LL DIE FIRST
BUT I WILL KISS HIM
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and report back when it's done.
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..................................
that's it i'm leaving im done im going home
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don't worry they end up kissing
eventually]
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lan zhan has a scary dick.
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how did we get to 'dick' so fast do i even want to know
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