memes.

[resurging]

Comments

[resurging]

offering lan zhan alcohol was not being forward! how was i to know he was going to react so horribly, anyway? no one draws their sword at a stranger for being offered alcohol!

nie huaisang i am your closest and dearest friend, don't leave me

[wobuzhidao]

if you don't want me to leave stop being so goddamn dumb to start with i literally can't even with you

you broke like a million rules when you first let of course he was oing to react like that at first, but look at him now! didn't he save your ass with the water abyss too?

[resurging]

i don't want lan zhan to be uncomfortable!

and he did! he carried me by the collar like i was a puppy, it was embarrassing! ah, but his arm strength... it was so impressive...

[wobuzhidao]

if he's uncomfortable, believe me, you'll know.

OMG GO KISS HIM ALREADY

[resurging]

BUT HUAISANG I'M SCARED

HE MIGHT SAY NO

[wobuzhidao]

HAVE YOU READ ANY OF MY LAST FIFTY MESSAGES NO HE WON'T

since when are you scared of anything. you, the great Wei WuXian, the pride of Yunmeng Jiang Sect. Scared of kissing a guy he's already dating. I'm ashamed to be your friend.

[resurging]

IF I KISS HIM

PROMISE ME YOU'LL NEVER LEAVE ME

[wobuzhidao]

I PROMISE I WILL STILL BE YOUR FRIEND IF YOU RUB YOUR TWO BRAIN CELLS TOGETHER AND ACTUALLY SMOOCH HIM NOW GO

[resurging]

I WILL KISS HIM

I'LL DIE FIRST

BUT I WILL KISS HIM

[wobuzhidao]

GO NOW BEFORE I CHANGE MY MIND AND FIRE YOU AS MY FRIEND

and report back when it's done.

[resurging]

okay but if i die please promise me you'll keep jiang cheng from bringing me back to kill me again

[wobuzhidao]

i shall do no such thing.

[resurging]

i will haunt you

[wobuzhidao]

why are you still talking to me instead of kissing your boyfriend

[resurging]

i can't find him

[wobuzhidao]

..................................


that's it i'm leaving im done im going home

[resurging]

[somewhere far far away is a wei wuxian frantically looking for a lan wangji

don't worry they end up kissing

eventually]

[wobuzhidao]

[Thank the ancestors now text him back and tell him how it went he wants details.]

[resurging]

[a whole day later]

lan zhan has a scary dick.

[wobuzhidao]

........ well that escalated quickly.

how did we get to 'dick' so fast do i even want to know

[resurging]

it turns out that you were right! he likes me!

a lot, too, so i ended up sitting on him when we were kissing and then things just happened

[wobuzhidao]

of course I was right.

ok what things tell me more.

[resurging]

[were nie huaisang seeing wei wuxian in person, he'll be witness to his friend going beet red all over.]

he kissed me back! and bit me a lot! seriously, it was like he was trying to scandalize everyone with all the bite marks, i have a livid one high up on my neck. and...

well. i was right about the famed gusu lan arm strength.

[wobuzhidao]

[why is this not facetiming.]

wear a scarf. it'll look even more like you want to hide something

oooooh you can't just say that and leave me hanging now.

[resurging]

[ because he's still in bed!!! ]

do i want to give old man qiren a heart attack

i mean he has it out for me but i don't want him to qi deviate

and look

i know now that wall sex is not too great if the wall isn't smooth