[they sit against each other in a picture of tragic comedy - bruised, disheveled, one half stoically seething while the other is openly crying, the cold wind slapping their cheeks as it howls past them at the bottom of the gully.
wei wuxian breathes slowly, shallowly, uncaring about dignity and pride as he scrubs at his face and nose before the cold can properly freeze his tears and snot. he doesn't look at lan wangji, even though every part of him is screaming at him to turn, turn, turn - see to lan wangji's injury, help him up, offer his help in whatever way he can manage.
it won't be welcome now, a slithering voice reminds him. not that it's ever been welcome before.
that's for the better, isn't it? wei wuxian's made enough of a mess.
he's an idiot. a fool. if it were possible to survive here without seeing another human being he'll gladly subject himself to secluded meditation. it'll be lonely, and he'll miss everyone deeply, but it'd be the right thing to do.
he should not have lashed out. should not have hurt lan zhan like this, should not have hurt him at all. his emotions have blinded him, rendered him a brute, thrown caution and respect into the wind. so what if his heart had shattered to pieces? he's an idiot to have given it away so freely in the first place. did he expect reciprocation? he'd only ever pushed at lan wangji's boundaries, offending the man at every turn, what love is there for someone like him, when all he's ever done is to break every rule he's ever faced?
a man like lan wangji doesn't deserve to suffer a man like him.]
I'm sorry, [he croaks out, voice wet as though underwater. wei wuxian releases the bind, the coil dissipating in a burst of faint light; he keeps his head down, moves to stand. his shoulder aches from the first impact, and his hip is screaming where suibian has refused to yield during the tumble down the gully. small cuts and bruises all over; they might as well coalesce into one large bruise.
he's never felt quite as hollow as he does now.]
I'll just go.
[shame, hot brands around his ankles and neck. wei wuxian flees.]
[ The bind, first: broken. It fragments, dissolving in blinks of sparkle that Lan Wangji has to push himself to stare away from. Whatever his hurt, his perversion, his trickery, Wei Wuxian's sorcery has always been the one one, central beacon of beauty that's anchored him. Even the patriarch of Yiling strove to set the attacks of his corpses to music, the breaths and groans and whispers of the undead to lulls and crescendo of the wind and untamed breeze.
His wrist falls in his lap, listless and as indifferent as Wangji's heart wishes it could still itself, beating to the cadence of guilt in resonance. It rises again, possessed of its own volition — to stop Wei Wuxian, only another breath longer. Drag him back. Say words they should have shared a life that Wei Ying's yet to live before.
Doesn't catch purchase. He'll go — does go, scant and dwindling in the distance, stretch of darkness in plain, blinding white. Fitting, to be abandoned here, in the aftermath of it all, gathering the pieces.
He knows the part. He's bled worse before for it. ]
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wei wuxian breathes slowly, shallowly, uncaring about dignity and pride as he scrubs at his face and nose before the cold can properly freeze his tears and snot. he doesn't look at lan wangji, even though every part of him is screaming at him to turn, turn, turn - see to lan wangji's injury, help him up, offer his help in whatever way he can manage.
it won't be welcome now, a slithering voice reminds him. not that it's ever been welcome before.
that's for the better, isn't it? wei wuxian's made enough of a mess.
he's an idiot. a fool. if it were possible to survive here without seeing another human being he'll gladly subject himself to secluded meditation. it'll be lonely, and he'll miss everyone deeply, but it'd be the right thing to do.
he should not have lashed out. should not have hurt lan zhan like this, should not have hurt him at all. his emotions have blinded him, rendered him a brute, thrown caution and respect into the wind. so what if his heart had shattered to pieces? he's an idiot to have given it away so freely in the first place. did he expect reciprocation? he'd only ever pushed at lan wangji's boundaries, offending the man at every turn, what love is there for someone like him, when all he's ever done is to break every rule he's ever faced?
a man like lan wangji doesn't deserve to suffer a man like him.]
I'm sorry, [he croaks out, voice wet as though underwater. wei wuxian releases the bind, the coil dissipating in a burst of faint light; he keeps his head down, moves to stand. his shoulder aches from the first impact, and his hip is screaming where suibian has refused to yield during the tumble down the gully. small cuts and bruises all over; they might as well coalesce into one large bruise.
he's never felt quite as hollow as he does now.]
I'll just go.
[shame, hot brands around his ankles and neck. wei wuxian flees.]
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His wrist falls in his lap, listless and as indifferent as Wangji's heart wishes it could still itself, beating to the cadence of guilt in resonance. It rises again, possessed of its own volition — to stop Wei Wuxian, only another breath longer. Drag him back. Say words they should have shared a life that Wei Ying's yet to live before.
Doesn't catch purchase. He'll go — does go, scant and dwindling in the distance, stretch of darkness in plain, blinding white. Fitting, to be abandoned here, in the aftermath of it all, gathering the pieces.
He knows the part. He's bled worse before for it. ]